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a quick recollection wander through the night fading memories interpretation The Anteheroes grasp at straws grasp at straws
what dreams may come?
what dreams will fall?
"Goodbye To You"

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
6 dreams or use your imagination
There are some questions which, I suppose, are nearly inevitable when you've been together long enough.

"Am I settling?" I suppose has been the one of the last two years for us. I know and knew you love me. But me, I'm damaged goods, or at least I've seen myself that way for the last little while. I'm not making the money I could, I'm not in good health. But I've improved on all aspects a lot - who ever thought I would be exercising the hell out of myself twice a day without someone on my ass? That I could be on track with my writing again? And I was doubting my ability to hold a job and do so competently.

I suppose that now I understand yet another facet to the saying that if you don't love yourself, you can't (properly) love another. When I thought poorly of myself, I worried that I was only taking what's available to me and simply being too lazy to hold out for something better. But that's not true. I'm doing better now, and it's still you that I want.

"Am I settling?" The problem with this question is not the question, but how we interpret it. We commonly read it to mean that the only way to not settle is to be shopping for something better. And it is true, it is striving to improve that makes human civilization what it is. But improvement doesn't just mean changing partners. And it doesn't mean changing who your partner is. Nor does it mean changing who you are. It means changing who 'us' is. Being willing to stand through that.

"Am I settling?" The answer was yes. I was.

I was unhappy with who I am. And when this brief moment of clarity has passed, there will be more times when I am unhappy with who I am. And because of that, I was afraid to rock the boat. Like... I wasn't worthy of even being on the boat to rock it. But you know what?

I am on this fucking boat. And so are you. And we're going to row, row, row ourselves upstream to a pretty little pond. I'm not settling anymore, and you're not going to settle anymore either. We're too good together to just be drifting aimlessly down some little brook. Gotta go straight to the source. Y'see, it really isn't just about getting what you want. And it's not about wanting what you got. It's doing both.

I love you. Some day soon, we're gonna be married. And... I guess we're gonna start a family. That's kind of a scary thought and let's not rush into it too quick. But y'know, maybe I wouldn't be a completely worthless parent. I know you'd make a great one.

I love you. I want to be with you, I want to take care of you, I want to hear you babble incoherently as you drift off asleep (because you hear me do it so often; turnabout is fair play).


(Hey, maybe my username can stop being ironic now. It was never supposed to be. Love you.)
10 dreams or use your imagination
They bring me little joy at best, and much misery more often.

But snow? Some things can temper even my searing hatred. Snow is different, snow is beautiful. I just went out there and shoveled it for a few hours and the start of all that has already been swallowed up in pristine, fluffy whiteness. Everything is untouched, protected beneath gentle yet swooping curves.

It is refreshingly cold.

It is a good day. I called out of work today. I've never done that before with a job, but... this needs to be seen and witnessed.

I wrote a stupid poem about snow, once, when I was ten. It was the first time I'd ever really seen snow; 'twas the Blizzard of '96, and before that I'd lived in Puerto Rico or had grey Christmases. I still like it:
Snow, snow, snow
It's been awhile - don't go!
Pure white blankets the street,
Every school admits defeat.

Cars are sliding and they're slippin'
But happy kids are backflippin'
Yippee! We're free from school!
Now - Pun intended - ain't that cool?

Angels we have heard down low
Yep that's right - in the snow!
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men
(After the snowball fight, only then)

Ack! You want me to do what?
Shovel the sidewalk, but, but!
So hey, we got a few more chores -
We also got a lot more snores.

Look at what the adults did, oh no!
They've, they've ruined our snow!
School tomorrow? Only delayed till noon?
Ack! Snow! Come back soon!

Happy Snow Day to you all, and to all a good night. :)
2 dreams or use your imagination
the chaplain and the god: page 8
use your imagination
Let's not ruin this with words.
a single dream or use your imagination
The Anteheroes, page 6.
use your imagination
I'm sorting stuff, and about 30 feet away, I hear this exchange between a mother in... I'd guess late-20s, early-30s, and her son - maybe 7 or 8.

Son: Mommy, mommy, look! (Not sure what he was showing; I was focused on the display I was working on.)
Mother: Not now.
Son: But mommy-
Mother: -sigh- Christmas makes mommy want to kill herself. You don't want mommy to kill herself, do you? Leave you with no mommy or daddy?
Son: ...N-no. -awkward pause-
Mother: Then stop talking about it.

What the hell man?
3 dreams or use your imagination
Page 5 is up. Check it out now, the Funk Soul Brotha':
use your imagination
Dear Wonderful People With Breasts,

Though I am rarely so frank or crass as this, I enjoy the company and camaraderie and comfort which you - and your aforementioned possessions - so often afford me in times of need. And I do recognize that there is much more to you than your mellifluous, magnificent mammaries - yet it is with these mighty mons of the major pectoralis that I must address an issue.

I do not claim to understand the whences and the whys, the hows or the habits associated with it, but I cannot deny the truth of what I have seen. And thus, I must state with the uttermost, regretful frankness - so frank, indeed, that I would taste exceedingly good with relish (despite that I do not, ahem, relish this) - that the toy aisle is not where your bras go.

Somehow, somehow, day upon day, morn following morn, I go to sort the toy zone and invariably end my day with no fewer than three pairs of brassieres. Lacy, plain, inhumanly large - all manner of kinds - stuffed behind Thomas the Steam-Powered Locomotive and Government Issue Joseph and remote-control automobile amusements for the young ones. Perhaps you are ashamed of your selections - I do recall the incredible blush of the thirty-something who came up to the register hoping to make purchase of a negligee, thigh-high boots and Kentucky Jelly - or perhaps you are such incredibly lazy nincompoops that you cannot walk the 30 yards over to the Lady's Apparel section, I do not know, and I do not care.

Brassieres are for bazongas; not nerf bazookas.

Say that with me: brassieres are for bazongas - not nerf bazookas.

Today, I walked out of the zone and into the backroom with my arms laden of so many bras that, for a moment, I considered the possibility of constructing an elaborate, shambling costume from which I could prowl the toy section, completely unnoticed by all women, a bizarre creature of the night - Brazarro.

But instead, I elected to write a post about it.

Seriously. Stop ****ing hiding your bras in the toy section. It's just weird.
6 dreams or use your imagination
1. You just won a million dollars (tax free!) in the lottery (did you know there's no tax on prize winnings in Canada?! Effing sweet!). How would you spend it?
That's an easy one. I immediately pour half of it into the webcomic (Page 3 went up this morning!). Four-tenths gets invested, and the last tenth I use to get a new wardrobe, a new computer, a new car, and buy metric tons of presents for my family.

2. If you and Kalen could plan your wedding without having to worry about what either of your families want, what kind of wedding would you want to have and where?
This is an awkward sort of question, as we've not really talked about it much. Hmm. I suppose... I would want to have a small wedding with short vows and non-traditional colors. Some (but not very much) nerdy stuff hidden in the occasion - an in-joke embedded into the vows, some silly music to walk out the aisle to, right as the sunset comes. An outdoor wedding reception in a starry, moonless night.

3. What is your favorite thing about this time of year?
The weather. I roll the windows down and drive with the AC and heat off and the music up, singing along to the radio. It makes me feel alive.

4. How is it living at home? Do your parents drive you nuts or have you worked out some kind of equilibrium?

They drive me oh so very nuts. My mother never stops being a mother; I go to work -earlier- than I used to and she adjusts her receptors accordingly. When I left for work with 20 minutes to go, she starts telling me I'm going to be late at 35. I leave for work with 30 minutes to go, she starts telling me at 50. I am nearly incapable of doing anything by myself.

5. If you could pick up and travel right now, no questions asked, where would you most want to go? (Aside from to see Kalen; let's just assume she could come with you.)
It's not the destination - it's the journey. I want to drive forever down an endless highway in a big comfortable car with the windows down, singing my heart out the entire way. I've been driving for an hour... just talkin' to the rain... as my song goes. :)
4 dreams or use your imagination
Two pages up on the Anteheroes.


Now beginning a translation project - the Anteheroes will be legible in many major languages, very soon. :D
use your imagination
Stop me if you've heard this one before: A priest, a god, and a fed walk into a comic...

A collaborative project between seasoned author AstralFire and upcoming artist Domochevsky and featuring colors by Flickerdart, The Anteheroes is a tale eight years in the making, a saga that follows an ensemble cast as they struggle with Wisdom, Individuality, Joy, Destiny and... Terrible Humor. It is a serialized graphic novel about philosophy, one-liners, beatdowns and explosions.

The Ante has been upped. Now we're laying our cards down on the table.

Updates Mondays & Fridays, with occasional Wednesdays.

Page 1: A Dark and Stormy Mind.
use your imagination
use your imagination
The Anteheroes 2.0.

It's coming.
a single dream or use your imagination
I don't want it to be over.
4 dreams or use your imagination
Y'know it's... something I process as being good for people.

Religion, that is.

I don't believe it, but I think it's good for people. But when I analyze God as a being, he just reads to me as a capricious being that likes to test and tease people who don't deserve it, for no good reason, following rules he made up for the hell of it. Even if I believed that there was a God now, I could never go back to mainstream Christianity - not that I was ever part of it, really.

And it amazes me and it... really... tears at my heart watching people suffering, down on their luck beyond it all and they offer up praise to this God. Their capacity for... emotional resilience, I guess, amazes me. And it solidifies my belief that religion is a generally good thing. I don't know if so many of them would make it if it weren't for the church.

And it rips at me at the same time to see people bow down to, what looks to me like an artificial construct imbued with every unearned privilege it can. How can you people bow down before this? How can you submit yourself to a presence that - according to you - created you with flaws, knows all of the routes you're going to follow through time, and blames you for them? Not just discards you as a broken toy, but punishes you as a failure, if the dogma is to be believed. Some people say that God does it like parents must let their children spread their wings and fall from the nest - but parents do that because they're not God. They can't be around forever. If he existed, then how and why...

But yet, they can draw strength from this God in their pain.

Humanity is just... it's amazing. It is amazing what the human mind can do with a little bit of prodding.

It is wonderful and horrible and it makes me want to cry.

I don't even know why, I'm such a heartless bitch. I treat my family and my friends poorly... they're really people to be set aside for when it's convenient to me to interact with them. Why does it hurt so much to watch strangers like this?
use your imagination
One word:

A friend convinced me to watch it, and... I stand by earlier statements I've made that I don't care for that kind of Joker, Wayne proves to be a more interesting character than Batman (aside: why do the movie makers keep screwing this up? You focus on Clark Kent and Batman, not Superman and Bruce Wayne. The second set are foils and wrappers for the first. Kent is human in spite of his inhumanity. Batman is superhuman in spite of his frailty. Instead, we get Superman as a Messianic figure and Wayne as a conflicted man of duty.)

What disappoints me most is how much good there is in the movie. Dent stole the damn show. Seriously, amazing acting. Gyllenhaal's not as much of a looker as Holmes, but she's a much better actor - you know, the important part - and has a better look for the role. Shame she got Woman-in-Refridgerator'd. Lucius Fox and Alfred continue to be amazing, Wayne was very solid at the fundraiser, and I actually got tugged when it looked like Gordon had bit it.

But the movie's about Batman and Joker. And I found both to be dissatisfying.
use your imagination
6 dreams or use your imagination
I’m writing these words because it’s easier to write them than to say them. Trying to talk often lets conversation in the way. I am scared.

That’s not a very good way to start out a Christmas greeting, but when I thought about what I most wanted to talk to you two about, that’s what it is. I’m scared. I feel like I’m running out of options, and though I’ve never been one to posture about masculinity, I don’t feel like much of a man right now. It makes it harder for me to be close; kinda funny, I think in some ways it helps me understand Dad better now. It’s… an overbearing feeling of shame, like I’ve let everyone down. Talking has never come as easily to me as writing, but it’s worse lately.

I want to say that to someone, because it’s hard to find people to say it to. With mom and dad, I know they have enough to worry about without concerning themselves over my stress. To some degree, I’d rather dad keep his view that I’m something of a lazy, unconcerned, callow youth. With Kalen… well, she’s not my sister or my brother. I don’t know; it’s hard to explain. And it’s not fair to you two either to lay that stress at your feet, but I need to say it to someone, just get it out without hearing or feeling the lurk of ‘I told you so' but knowing that there will still be criticism, because I know I deserve some. Just after I've finished yelling at myself.

I'm scared and I'm crying and

So that’s my moment of vulnerability. Sorry, I guess this letter’s more for me than you.


This was supposed to be a Christmas letter. I don't know... I just don't know.
6 dreams or use your imagination

A little bundle of joy was delivered to me yesterday; it's been a long 36 days, but it was worth it. Weighing about 25 pounds, 3 ounces, meet Guillaume!


He has his father's (the late Eduardo's) two petit HDDs in addition to his own more sizable one, and will develop to be even more advanced than his daddy, an Athlon 3000+ with 1.25 GB RAM. He hasn't even filled in all of his slots yet!

It's so good to have a computer again!
a single dream or use your imagination
I had a job. For three days. Sorting mail for Republican fundraisers. You know, whatever. Republicans aren't innately bad people, Jeremy's one. Too bad the job sucked ass. I got to see the most racist, idiotic ramblings of psychotic partisans. And then I got fired.

I got fired because I had to stand up while sorting mail to move some piles around after the day before I had been yelled at for sorting while standing. I did this twice today, for a few minutes max then I sit down after all the piles are moved. Well, apparently boss was watching me like a hawk, because five minutes after the second time, I get hauled into her office, blamed for the roach infestation at the locker where I put my packed, sealed lunch since I didn't know we HAD a refridgerator (and I've only brought lunch twice and the roaches were on the opposite side of the lockers...) and then escorted out of the building because I guess I'm somehow untrustworthy.

My computer's broken. Losing weight has deadstalled, though I continue to go out every day. And I can't fucking get a job.

I feel so goddamn worthless, like the last eight years have meant nothing. Yearbook, martial arts, writing, college, my jobs, the productive things I thought I was doing have amounted to jack shit and here I am, 22, leeching off of my parents in the same room I've been living in since I was 9. I have almost no wardrobe, a looming credit card statement, I'll get diabetes by the time I'm 30 and even my computer's busted so I can't hide in the internet (this is why I dropped off the face of the earth again).

How am I supposed to take care of a family like this? I'm engaged, for fuck sake, and I can't even get my own apartment. Kalen's got years and years of school ahead of her, how am I going to be able to support her? Huh? My parents barely have elbow room for themselves, and all I can do is eat them out of house and home. My sister, she got full scholarships and grants everywhere. She worked her way through college like me and ended up with extra money, not debt. She's married, she's a successful lawyer married to the head prosecutor of the entire goddamn US Army, and what do I have to show for myself? I can tell you about Hinduism and I wrote a shitty ass, long-as-fuck story. WHOOPDEEMOTHERFUCKINGDO.

I'm trying, goddamnit, I'm fucking trying. I don't even get callbacks 95% of the time.
8 dreams or use your imagination
Good lord.

I just saw someone -actually- say that a feminist is screwed up in the head because they don't get enough of the male sex organ in their life. When he doesn't even know anything about her sex life.

Immediately following his statement that she needs a man in her life, and not a hypothetical 'bad boy' man he made up that she has wild monkey sex with daily.

Purification by fire sounds like a good way to cure the world right now.
2 dreams or use your imagination
Here's to 22 meaningless years, fuck me.
a single dream or use your imagination

Avatar Series Finale == AWESOME

9 dreams or use your imagination
The short funny bit. Icemaker's been broken the last few days. Earlier this week at 2 am my dad is watching TV downstairs when suddenly he rushes up the stairs to my room.

"We have ice again! I heard the refrigerator going while I was watching TV."
"...That's great."

He then stormed downstairs. (Bear in mind that I never mess with kitchen appliances unless asked to, and I've never once touched the icemaker. I managed to set myself on fire five times by the time I was seven, three of them in the kitchen, I stay away from that place.)
You know that whole New Yorker/Obama cartoon controversy earlier this week?

My dad and I got into an argument about it, with him fuming about how "it was in bad taste and racist", with me going "it's intentionally over the top to mock the people who believe these things, though I agree they missed the mark." We both strongly agreed that there would be a lot of people who just would not 'get' the image and that there wasn't an intent to cause problems, but I essentially felt the New Yorker was overestimating the intelligence of the broader public and my dad felt they were doing it just to be edgy.

He gets home from work early today, starts talking on the phone to his brother very loudly. I'm not eavesdropping, it's just impossible to not hear him. (aside: in the living room, where I have not spent more than 20 consecutive minutes since I got back home in May even though I set up the home theater system without help. Today I wanted to enjoy music, but that was not in the cards) As they're chatting, the aforementioned picture comes up and my dad starts going "ah yeah, Chris and I were arguing about that the other day. Now, you and I - people like you and me, we've been around the block a few times and - yeah, yeah, you know. We know that these things are meant well, but there are better ways to handle these things. Chris was of the opinion that everyone would understand the message behind the cartoon, but-"

"Wait, what? No, I didn't."


"I didn't say that at all. That's the opposite of what I did. I said they didn't think through the overall reception, that was my entire point."

"Oh." He turns back to the phone. "Sorry Jerry, Chris was just saying something. Anyway, he thought that everyone would understand the cartoon, but I clearly-"

"What are you talking about? No, I didn't. I said the exact opposite in like the second sentence of the discussion."

"Chris! I'm on the phone right now!"

"Yeah! And you're talking about me right next to me!"
2 dreams or use your imagination

Good god that's absurd.
11 dreams or use your imagination
I'm more interested in seeing Mamma Mia! than The Dark Knight.

I'm just... not that interested in Ledger's portrayal of the Joker. The way they chose to portray him is probably the best one given the tone set by Begins, but I don't care much for the Joker outside of the DCAU generally speaking.
a single dream or use your imagination
Few things irritate me like how so many Christians seem to assume that unbelief is predicated by bad things occurring in your life. I suppose that is a frequent consequence of believing God is Love, but attempts to reconvert me along those lines get shut out fast.

a single dream or use your imagination
I rather liked the American Boy single.

Kinda like it, but I need a few more listens to make a judgment. Still, it doesn't seem like a one-good-song CD, so I'm happy.
use your imagination
>> ...I told you I just did. The issue isn't that.
>> There, it's cycled. I'm still not online.
>> I just had a technician over here two weeks ago and he confirmed that there were absolutely no issues on my end. Signal strength is fine.
>> This has been going on for five weeks and power cycling never corrects the issue. I'm just losing signal. Power cycling only helps after the signal has been restored and the modem needs a reset.
>> It's your modem and it's been less than a year.
>> Ma'am, if it was the modem, why would it only go out every day at a certain point in time, regardless of use?
>> But if it was the modem, why would the issues all occur in the 1100 to 1700 hour time frame, primarily the 1200 to 1500 timeframe, regardless of how heavy usage is?
>> Are you even listening?
a single dream or use your imagination
Was helping my sis and bro in law move in today.

Everything with legs that those guys had was RUINED.

$7000 couch: Arrived with three of its six legs broken off (one of them couldn't even be found). As the moving guys were taking it off the truck, one of them dropped it and whoops there went two more legs. Then when they got what remained into the apartment the guy tried to rip the last leg off - while I can understand the logic, it's not his property and I swear at this point my bro almost decked him when he didn't stop immediately.

Matching loveseat: All legs still attached. All legs also look like a bunch of epileptic kitty cats were allowed to relieve their violent impulses on them.

Expensive mahogany dining table: Legs were detachable and wrapped up separately which is the only reason this thing survived to any degree, but there are scratches all along three of the four sides and there's water damage on the surface.

Mahogany chest of drawers: Of course, having detachable legs didn't do crap for this one - two of the sockets for the legs are pretty badly messed up with chunks ripped out of them. What did they set that thing on, an irate beaver colony? Otherwise not damaged. ZOMG.

Coffee table: Just plain missing.

Home stereo stand: Not terribly expensive, but decent quality. At one point in its life, it had four stainless steel legs connected to wheels. One of the four legs has been sheared off somehow.

And this is alongside several other issues like how one box and several of my sister's dresses inside of it are covered in an inky blue stain, or the obviously "exposed to lots of water" appearance of many of the boxes, and a few other missing pieces.
10 dreams or use your imagination
So uh, a friend from Elementary/Middle School's dad friended me on Facebook.


(Tyler Campbell for the... ah fuck, I think Bonnie's the only one of that era who still uses LJ.)
4 dreams or use your imagination
I can wear shirts I haven't worn for 3 years. Yay! In another two months, I wonder what else I could do.
5 dreams or use your imagination
"The guy told officers he had covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government."

'The guy' may not be the most professional way to report a news story, but this is one of the best sentences ever uttered in journalism.

2 dreams or use your imagination
Okay, I'm going to catch up on LJ tomorrow. Been too busy. Visit with Kalen was nice.

Grrr misogyny grr.

Recent work I did.
use your imagination
Sorry guys, been busy.

Will catch up on LJ in a few days, probably. ...I need to prune all of these worthless communities I joined on LJ.

Happy birthday, Kalen!


If you have said this in the last year, I want to come to your house and pistol whip you repeatedly.

People need to grow up. Manipulation isn't just a female thing. Hell, I'm one of the most manipulative people I know. The reason they're confusing is because you're not making a serious effort to understand, you're just whining and picking on an old meme to do the thinking for you.
2 dreams or use your imagination
Wait, so this ISN'T normal?


That's -exactly- how my brain works.
4 dreams or use your imagination
^ Super funny video

I can't decide if I like the Scientology bit or the YTMND bit all the way at the end best.
I just suddenly collapsed due to low sugar. This is... new. I've never had sugar problems before.
2 dreams or use your imagination
Whew. That's eight more applications sent out today.
a single dream or use your imagination
Blinds are horrid.

I've started leaving mine up all the time so I can just enjoy the view without these thin slats of plastic breaking everything up. The point of a window has never been to get light, at least for me; it's to get a nice view.

If only I lived on the sunrise side of the house.

Yellow is my favorite color*, my sister's (unoccupied) room is yellow, in the cooler basement, and faces the sunrise. It also is two floors below my parents. I really want to take over that room and I probably could -now- if I bitched enough, but given that I'm probably moving out in about a year after I've saved up some dough, it's not worth it.

* Which is why, of course, my room is blue, the exact opposite color on the color wheel. Grumble grumble. I hope I can paint my apartment when I get one.


Why hasn't there been a shonen anime based on the early internet?

You know. Back when viruses were manly viruses and all the major ones had personalized names and they were designed to kick your computer's ass just because they could, not to steal your identity or find out how to market cookware to you more effectively.

There'd actually be a legitimate explanation for why the main character's ultimate attack takes several episodes to code.

I mean, charge.
3 dreams or use your imagination
Can't... stop... laughing...

use your imagination
Is there ANYTHING more beautiful than Magpie Rain?

The rain that comes while the sun shines so brightly?

It's coming down torrentially with a beautiful golden glow right now and the view is positively an aesthetic wonder.
3 dreams or use your imagination
I keep having this dream where I fail out of college due to schedule mix-ups and laziness on my part, right before I'm about to succeed. Usually due to a class I thought I dropped but didn't.

While that basically did happen last semester (except with my usual Academic MacGyver-flair, I circumvented the actual failing), I've had these nightmares since before then. It's... really goddamned annoying.
2 dreams or use your imagination
I screamed the entire time I was running tonight.

I feel a little better now.
2 dreams or use your imagination
Holy crud, my entire shirt is wet with sweat. Like, the entire thing. There are only some dry patches on the edge of the sleeves.

When flexed, my arms have no loose skin now.

I might actually be thin in another two months. Holy hell that is excitingly scary.
2 dreams or use your imagination
Roman d20:

Is this for real? o.O
a single dream or use your imagination
So glad they made a 'mass privacy conversion' tool. I was worried I'd have to close this journal eventually for fear of some of the god-awful-stupid things I said on it when I was younger. Take this gem, for example:

Kill me nowCollapse )

See? Oh my god, I can't believe I ever wrote that.
4 dreams or use your imagination
Figures; I start actively reading LJ again and no one wants to post. ARRRRGH! AMUSE ME!
13 dreams or use your imagination
Crud, I fell asleep too early.

2 more job apps out. Arms and legs sore.

Working on a new book again. I use "new" liberally - it's yet another variant on the Alexis Decker mythos that has occupied my word processor for seven years now. People ask me why I don't move on...

I don't think many people really do move on, not serious writers. They might rename things, but those hidden ideas struggle back to the surface fast. You have to get it all on paper. You have to get it done *right*. Then you can move on. Otherwise, you're not doing the voices in your head justice.

Friday will be Kalen's and my (Kalen and my? My and Kalen's? Me and Kalen's? How do you work that structure out?) fourth anniversary. Here's to many more years like the last four.
5 dreams or use your imagination
Eight pounds lost over the last five weeks. Go me.

Am also *really, really, really* tired these days.
use your imagination